Starting Over....Again

I decided to start another blog. I wanted a fresh start for my new commitment to getting my writing going again. Why do I feel I need a fresh start? Is it because of past pains I am having trouble getting past in the blogosphere? No. Could it be that I think a clean slate will make me a better writer? No. Truth is, I couldn't remember my password and it had been so long that I didn't think it exists anymore. So, out there, hogging up one of the many clever URLs out there is my other blog...empty. That was a fresh start that went stale and eventually just became a petrified shell not doing much except keeping anyone else from using the URL andbabymakesfour-kelster for their blog. Next time I try and find a title for my new and improved blog, I will suspect that someone is out there neglecting their blog on MY URL. Yes, I think the world is full of rotten people with nothing better to do than get me.

So, here we are. A new frontier. It has been a long time since I have steadily written. Pretty much since graduation in 2004. What can I say? The next day I started packing for Portland and then we moved and then I got pregnant and then I had Kassie and suddenly it was yesterday when Heather reminded me that maybe my writing would be a good thing. Inspired by my friend Shelia, I struck while the iron was hot. I wasted no time trying to get to my blog. Sadly, I found that something over time had gotten in the system and I can no longer log on so I just created a new blog. I am aiming for an hour of writing a day. I am sure it wont be every day, but as long as I write more often than Shelia works out, we will both be in good shape.

You may be wondering why, after such a long stretch of time, did I suddenly decide that I needed to write. Well, in another of my abandoned blogs I mention that my muse was pounding on the creative part of my brain threatening to erase every crush I had in Jr High if I didn't let her out. Well, I let her have a wee furlough, but then got distracted by life and have decided that I really need to do this.

Recently, someone sent me to a link for an eBay auction of Pokemon cards. The auction description was hilarious and there was a link to the seller's blog at the bottom. I went to it and started reading. What I found was a normal woman (who was all over the news and had six kids and wrote with a wit and humor that I aspire to match...other than that, pretty normal) who just decided to start a blog. Now her posts all get more than 100 comments and her blog gets over 30,000 hits a day. While it would be really cool to have that many people read my ramblings by choice, that is not why she inspired me. She inspired me because she has six times as many kids as me and still manages to churn out something that makes me smile every day. If she can do it, so can I.

The kicker was when I was relaying a really cute incident to Heather and I didn't feel I was conveying how cute it was to her. I knew I could do it in writing, but not spur of the moment. I needed to sit back with the mental image and translate it into prose somehow. I needed to let the emotions stew until they were ready to make the leap onto the page. This process takes time. So, Heather mentioned that maybe I should write. Then, when I saw her yesterday, she asked me if I had started. I hadn't yet, but I have now.

What was the cute incident? Well, I was sitting in the living room with Kassie on my lap. Because she was so comfortable, I didn't want to get up so I called out to Kermit. Then I heard this tiny voice say "koo moh". Again I yelled for Kermit. Again the voice echoed, "koo moh" A third time the same thing happened. Then I knew it was deliberate. I had noticed that Kassie had been parroting us on occasion, but nothing like this. Never had she addressed either of us as anything but momma and poppa. I was not even sure she knew those were not our names. I still am not sure if she knew I was calling for him or if she was just repeating what I was saying. It was such a striking moment.

It was the first time that the name of my soul mate passed through the lips of the lovely little being I love more than anything. It was also the first time that it really hit me that when she is mimicking me, it is because she wants to emulate me. I thought back on all of the new things she had been doing lately. She gets up into the front seat of the van and pretends to drive. She even puts her seat belt on before moving the steering wheel and fiddling with the A/C dials (what? It's summer. It has been hot out.) and making vroom noises. She invades her diaper bag and will pull out the changing pad, a spare diaper, and a wipe. She will find one of her stuffed animals and immediately proceed to "change"him...including the wipe. It is so awesome.

I am sure most of you know that I never thought I would have kids and I absolutely detested ankle biters. But, having one was the best thing I ever did. I just hope I don't mess her up.